It's Complicated
by cRiaa
Summary: Why couldn't he understand that it's not that this wouldn't work, but that it shouldn't work.


Author's Note:

This story is set post-Haru's departure. As there wasn't much of a depiction in the manga (except for the drawings) of how the gang's senior year went, this is my interpretation (based on my understanding of the story) of how the days passed.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun and this is a non-profit thing. In general, this is pretty much going to be the same disclaimer for every other story I post.

Thanks for reading!

* * *

><p>She told him, "You do what you want to do."<p>

"Is that a trick question?"

Her eyes slightly narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Like, are you saying that as a way to manipulate me into agreeing with you or are you saying that just because?"

She could feel a migraine coming on. "I'm saying, do what you want to do."

"But what does that even mean?" he cried, arms flung in the air.

She was so done with him already. "How should I know!?" she burst.

They've been going at this for a good 10 minutes now. It had been like any other afternoon, Natsume had patiently (might she add) been waiting for Sasayan to finish up with baseball activities so they could walk back to the batting cages. Shizuku would be there to help them with their studies as graduation was fast approaching. Given that they lived in close proximity with each other, it was much more convenient for the two to walk there together- or, well, not really together, as Natsume tended to follow a little behind, likening the feeling of her feet strewn across the gravel. Today, however, was different. Today was one of those days where Natsume was having another mental crisis.

* * *

><p>It all started at school. Natsume had been happily chatting with Shizuku, who was eager to discuss her plans upon Haru's return. "We'll go out and we'll eat."<p>

"And watch the stars!"

"We'll see how his studies are going."

"And feed Nagoya together!"

The two continued to ramble, tossing ideas back and forth until he entered.

"Hey, what's with the lively chatter?" It was Sasayan.

"We're trying to decide what we'll do once Haru's home." Natsume replied.

"Haha! At the pace you guys are going, it sounds more like a full blown schedule."

Aha. Shizuku thought. That's brilliant! "Sasayan, you're right! A schedule is just what we need."

And from there Shizuku left the conversation, intent on placing all of her attention into future plans with Haru.

"Do you think he'll want some okonimyaki?"

"Pfft, Haru will eat anything. He'll probably want it super spicy too!"

It was almost picturesque. From the outside, it would appear as though Natsume and Sasayan were having a good laugh, but like all good things that happen to Natsume, they always come crashing down. The laughter was cut short as Sasayan suddenly leaned a bit forward and shifted his gaze to where it seemed as though he was looking directly at her.

"Hey is that a new pin?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I got it at-"

" It looks good on you."

"Agh..!" Natsume froze. Crap. She forgot all about the pin. Just yesterday, it finally came in the mail. She couldn't believe she got caught up in all the excitement and forgot to calculate the high possibility of compliments, especially from Sasayan! Stupid, stupid...

But wait. Now what should she do? She can't agree since she can't speak, much less finish telling him where she bought it... The only thing Natsume could do was the thing she did best. She put on her poker face.

"Really."

It wasn't a question, neither was it a statement, but just a curt reply.

Sasayan immediately recognized it. It was the way Natsume often shut people out. A sudden end to the conversation. However, Sasayan quit apologizing long ago. He was being honest. And it was just a mild compliment, wasn't it?

"Yeah, really."

"Ah. I see."

The air about them grew chill. It would appear as though even the warmth of Sasayan's bright smile would not be enough to warm Natsume's frigid heart. She refused to be swayed, to feel if anything. And that's what troubled Sasayan the most.

* * *

><p>"Who does he think he is!?" Natsume said aloud. She was pacing back and forth at the foot of the stairs. It was now lunch time and up until that point, Natsume and Shizuku had been having a good meal until Shizuku decided to bring back bad blood.<p>

"So why did you cut Sasayan off?"

"Eh!? You were listening? I thought you were too busy concentrating on the schedule?"

"I have two ears Natsume. I think it best that I make the most of them."

Sometimes Shizuku's straight forward replies were too much.

"Because. He was being too sly." I mean, she didn't ask for his two cents. She knew she looked cute. And having someone (a boy mostly) mention it aloud was the worst. Didn't Sasayan understand? She didn't want a relationship. She wanted to be friends and to remain as friends.

"I think you're overreacting." Shizuku said, bringing Natsume out of her stupor.

"Wha!?" Natsume blushed. "I am not!" She hurriedly stuck a straw into her juice box and took a forceful sip.

"Natsume, if you drink it that fast you're gonna choke."

Natsume had had enough of Shizuku's reprimands to last her through college.

"As if- cough-cough-cough" her retort came back in haggled breaths.

* * *

><p>And here she was now. After school, walking "alongside" Sasayan.<p>

Natsume thought, wasn't this suppose to be the "Springtime of her youth" yet here she was contemplating the means of her existence to said boy who always gave her the benefit of the doubt. Normally, she'd scrutinize him in secret, but at this point in time, the need to probe at him from afar was clearly not enough. Her face scrunched up, with the wrinkles to match.

Basically, Natsume was upset. And she dragged her feet to prove it. Sensing the dense, almost, atomic amount of pressure emanating from Nastume, Sasayan promptly stopped walking, turned around to face her and simply waited. The silence was deafening. All Natsume could hear was her blood pulse, which was rapidly growing faster by the second. Summoning what little courage she had, Natsume started.

"You're unbearable" she declared.

"You think so?" he mused.

"I know so" she deadpanned.

"Hmm...I guess that's just how I am."

And that's what she despised the most. His ability to be so passive about things. As if a slight breeze just brushed past. It certainly wasn't easy for her. Had she'd been called that, she'd outright deny it, but mentally repeat it a thousand times over and over until the words were imprinted into her thick-headed skull. It's not that she couldn't tell him. Hell, Natsume would've done that ages ago had the opportunity come to chance, but this was hard. A challenge Natsume initially refused to commit to because that would mean admitting the truth. Confessing such feelings not just to him, but to herself.

Natsume knew that she was complicated. And that it was her inability to allow other people's feelings to take precedence over her own that only made things worse. The more she thought about it, the more she felt as if admitting that she liked him was a sign of defeat._ Why couldn't he get it?_ Was he stupid? No, no, that's not it. _Why couldn't he understand?_ There was no way she was going to confess. It would ruin everything.

All of a sudden, Sasayan slowly walked forward, towards Natsume, but her feet stood firmly planted on the ground. He leaned a little, so that they're faces were just inches from each other and said, "Natsume, I'll never know unless you tell me." She wondered how he did that. An earnest attempt to put her at ease, but at the same time, leave her feeling guilty. Natsume knew he didn't do it on purpose, but was just trying to understand her the best way he knew how, by being honest.

"I know."

"Then...?"

Readying herself, she took in a big gust of air. "I like you."

The confession hung around them.

What felt like hours to Natsume, was in reality a mere three seconds.

The feeling of embarrassment sunk in. Her ears tinted red and gradually so did the rest of her face.

"I, I- uhh.. I'll race you to the batting cages!" she blurted.

Kicking her feet out of their solidity, Natsume suddenly ran as fast as her legs could take her.

A great big sigh escaped from Sasayan's mouth.

"That's just like her." And just like that, Sasayan went into a sprint.


End file.
